回到英国，打给朋友
听到的第一句话是：
“欢迎回到灰色的世界。”
无语 ......
不想承认
但亦无从反对
第五次降落这片土地
仿佛堆砌了五次的不舍
心情沉重得不得了
三周假期，在我还没来得及尽兴
就结束了
仿佛在到达高潮之际.
突然从美梦中惊醒
感觉
上不着天
下不着地
震颤中的琴弦
无法奏出下一个音符
在回到现实之前
给我一点时间
平复
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Monday, 4 May 2009
4 月30 日
4 月30 日，值得纪念的一天。
到了今天，2009年的三分之一就过去了，我在Liverpool呆了整半年，也意味着我已经走过了PhD 第一年的一半了。
刚在实验室的头两个月，感觉上就是糊弄着就过去了，一切都在摸索中度过，可以尽量避免的事都不去做。但是PhD真的不是可以象undergrad 酱得过且过的，因为有个要求严格的老板在背后推我。虽然对他总是畏多于劲，但还挺庆幸有个这样的老板。从一月和他有了第一次正式的检讨会议过后的这三个月，我真的觉得自己学习了很多，改变了很多，也进步了不少。
尤其是在四月这个月里，对于研究这分事业，仿如茅塞顿开地对它有更多的了解，也开始确定当初并没有做错决定。我想这得归功于老板一直给于的鼓励及周围的人对研究的热忱。另外，上星期老板蛮临时临急地叫我准备的presentation 和今天的 lab meeting presentation，虽然耗了我不少的精力，但却也同时激发了我对科学的兴趣。幸好这两星期的努力没白费，对于我的两个presentation,大家都赞赏有嘉，大家给于的肯定让我真的好高兴，也算是奠定了我对科学研究的信心。说实话，听到别人的称赞真的有点飘飘然的感觉，但在称赞背后所意味着的期望，却也让我觉得那是沉重的包袱，因为我没有信心自己能每次都那么幸运地表现良好。
老板让我在今天，我开始PhD后的第一个半年做我的第一个lab meeting presentation，我想是个巧合吧，但这对我而言是个意义重大的巧合。完成了这项任务后，感觉上就好像是为自己立了一个历程碑，有无比的欣慰和感慨。
也碰巧在今天，我们整个实验室的人一起出去吃晚餐，因为要替一个同事farewell, 也当是欢迎两个新人的加入，同时也为了庆祝其中一个同事发表了他的第一篇研究论文（外加我庆祝自己成功撑过了第一个半年）。就说了吧，这是个值得纪念的一天 ^^
好好地享受了这个周末过后，就要开始另一个阶段了。五月六月应该又会是让人透不过气的吧，但我会加油的！！！
到了今天，2009年的三分之一就过去了，我在Liverpool呆了整半年，也意味着我已经走过了PhD 第一年的一半了。
刚在实验室的头两个月，感觉上就是糊弄着就过去了，一切都在摸索中度过，可以尽量避免的事都不去做。但是PhD真的不是可以象undergrad 酱得过且过的，因为有个要求严格的老板在背后推我。虽然对他总是畏多于劲，但还挺庆幸有个这样的老板。从一月和他有了第一次正式的检讨会议过后的这三个月，我真的觉得自己学习了很多，改变了很多，也进步了不少。
尤其是在四月这个月里，对于研究这分事业，仿如茅塞顿开地对它有更多的了解，也开始确定当初并没有做错决定。我想这得归功于老板一直给于的鼓励及周围的人对研究的热忱。另外，上星期老板蛮临时临急地叫我准备的presentation 和今天的 lab meeting presentation，虽然耗了我不少的精力，但却也同时激发了我对科学的兴趣。幸好这两星期的努力没白费，对于我的两个presentation,大家都赞赏有嘉，大家给于的肯定让我真的好高兴，也算是奠定了我对科学研究的信心。说实话，听到别人的称赞真的有点飘飘然的感觉，但在称赞背后所意味着的期望，却也让我觉得那是沉重的包袱，因为我没有信心自己能每次都那么幸运地表现良好。
老板让我在今天，我开始PhD后的第一个半年做我的第一个lab meeting presentation，我想是个巧合吧，但这对我而言是个意义重大的巧合。完成了这项任务后，感觉上就好像是为自己立了一个历程碑，有无比的欣慰和感慨。
也碰巧在今天，我们整个实验室的人一起出去吃晚餐，因为要替一个同事farewell, 也当是欢迎两个新人的加入，同时也为了庆祝其中一个同事发表了他的第一篇研究论文（外加我庆祝自己成功撑过了第一个半年）。就说了吧，这是个值得纪念的一天 ^^
好好地享受了这个周末过后，就要开始另一个阶段了。五月六月应该又会是让人透不过气的吧，但我会加油的！！！
Sunday, 23 November 2008
Research????
I have to admit that I did not make up my mind to do a PhD due to immense interest or self-commitment to do research, a typical reason given by people doing PhD. My decision was rather driven by the fact that I simply want to pursue a higher academic degree and that I was uncertain of my next step in life.
However, after being here in this lab for 3 weeks, my mindset is somehow altered. I seriously admire the extensive knowledge and stringent attitude of my supervisors towards science. This inspires me to want to become someone like them in the future. Also, the immense research atmosphere in the lab and the dedication and proactiveness of my fellow labmates are equally exalting. I hope that I will be as competent as they are one day.
On the other hand, I am pondering over the fruition that may come in return. The saying “hard work pays” is never, or not always, the dogma of scientific research. With hard work and a brilliant mind, you can unfold tardily the big picture of something, but it might not be sufficient to make significant scientific breakthrough. Undeniably, on top of brain and effort, one needs some luck sometimes to discover something.
Barry Marshall won the Nobel Prize for his unintentional discovery of Helicobacter pylori, and this would not have been possible if the incubator did not went faulty and if that did not happen during the Easter holiday. Christian de Duve, another Nobel laureate, earned the prize due to his accidental discovery of lysosome, when his laboratory centrifuge broke down and he had to use a table-top centrifuge instead.
Anyway, it might be at a too early stage for me to consider this now while I haven’t really started doing research. For the moment, I just hope that the inspirations and stimulations that I gained in the past 3 weeks will stay around to keep me moving forward. :-)
However, after being here in this lab for 3 weeks, my mindset is somehow altered. I seriously admire the extensive knowledge and stringent attitude of my supervisors towards science. This inspires me to want to become someone like them in the future. Also, the immense research atmosphere in the lab and the dedication and proactiveness of my fellow labmates are equally exalting. I hope that I will be as competent as they are one day.
On the other hand, I am pondering over the fruition that may come in return. The saying “hard work pays” is never, or not always, the dogma of scientific research. With hard work and a brilliant mind, you can unfold tardily the big picture of something, but it might not be sufficient to make significant scientific breakthrough. Undeniably, on top of brain and effort, one needs some luck sometimes to discover something.
Barry Marshall won the Nobel Prize for his unintentional discovery of Helicobacter pylori, and this would not have been possible if the incubator did not went faulty and if that did not happen during the Easter holiday. Christian de Duve, another Nobel laureate, earned the prize due to his accidental discovery of lysosome, when his laboratory centrifuge broke down and he had to use a table-top centrifuge instead.
Anyway, it might be at a too early stage for me to consider this now while I haven’t really started doing research. For the moment, I just hope that the inspirations and stimulations that I gained in the past 3 weeks will stay around to keep me moving forward. :-)
Thursday, 20 November 2008
天晓得
一口气把“家好月圆”的最后七集给看完了。
和上一季的“溏心风暴”一样， 这出戏有许多的经典对白。
印象中最深刻的，是在Jo包在钻牛角尖的是后， 荷妈问的一个问题：
“天离地有多高？东离西有多远？
在样的悲恸时刻，荷妈问了一个让人丈八金刚摸不着头脑的问题，但实际上确实充满哲理的问题。
这个问题的答案是 “天晓得？？？”
也就是”不知道“，对， 就是不知道， 非常简单的不知道。
很多时候， 当事情没有依照我们的意愿发展，有或者完全超乎我们的掌控，我们就乱了方寸， 觉得一切都是命定的，自己一定是要完蛋的了。于是，拼命往牛角尖钻，可能因此平百错失解决问题的机会， 又或者让自己遭受不必要的心灵煎熬。
但是，下一秒会发生的事情， 本来就是“天晓得”的，而且日常生活中有太多我们根本无法预期的事情。面对着这许多的“天晓得”的事情，如果我们无法豁达地面对，那岂不是庸人自扰吗？
最近看书，看到一句禅语，值得大家去思考的：
“你若了解， 世间事如是；你若不了解， 世间事亦如是。”
Sunday, 16 November 2008
My lab....
I have no idea if my lab is truly and internationally competent research lab, but it is indeed an "international" lab:
My 2 supervisors: 1 British and 1 Polland (They're a couple)
4 Postdocs: 1 British, 1 italian, 1 China, 1 Croatia (Another one's coming, he can either be a French, a Chinese or a Brazilian).
6 PhD students: 2 British, 1 Polland, 1 Hungary, 1 Malaysian and 1 Mix (Holland + British, he can speaks Spain as well)
1 Research assistant: Portugal
I still can recall vividly the first impression i had about the lab when I came for interview: Everyone was working seriously on their bench, and I barely observed any conversation between people in the lab. I could somehow foresee how my life gonna be in this lab, which was kinda depressing and discouraging.
After two weeks working in the lab, my previous view on the lab was proved to be a misimpression. Everyone's in the lab is so helpful and friendly, and the lab is much more lively than I have ever imagined. There's always someone to teach and lead me patiently, treating me like an undergrad student rather a PhD student. ^^"
And not forgetting to mention my supervisors who are really nice and patient. You can see them sitting beside a student and explaining things, which doesn't fit at all with my impression of how a supervisor behaves. There was one day when my supervisor explained something to me quite briefly as she was in a hurry to leave. Who knows, on the next day, she approached me and said that she wanted to explain more thoroughly. Phiew... what a bless.... :-)
Hopefully all these are not illusion and everyone continues to be nice to me...hehe.... XD
Saturday, 8 November 2008
Freshie Week....^^
It’s the end of the very first week of my PhD life. I haven’t got anything done that really has something to do with my research project, but I would describe this week as being an overwhelming, inspiring and intellectually challenging one.
First day:
I was welcome by my supervisor’s brief introduction of the lab and his demands on his students. He placed great emphasis on the international level of scientific research and disciplines that he’s running in our lab. That really pressured me as I wonder if I could live up to that. But on the other hand, I was kinda excited when he told me that the lab is importing some latest technologies and I would be the one to master them.
Second day:
We had our regular journal club today. I have got the paper discussed in advance and read through it for a few times, but seriously, it didn’t make much sense to me. However, there had been immense discussion among my group members and I was really amazed by their competency, their ability to analyze and wide scope of knowledge.
Third day:
We had a lab meeting today where one of the postdoc presented her research work. Again, I witnessed how my supervisors and the other lab mates scrutinized critically each and every single piece of experimental results. Till then, I felt so defeated because I was nothing like any of them and I really wondered if I could be as competent as them.
Forth day:
My supervisor told me a “joke” today when I asked him how to apply for permission to work in the lab during weekends and non-working hours (which is a procedural thingy). This was his response: “Oh, just ignore that, you need only to apply for writing permission for not coming into lab during non-working hours.”
Fifth day:
Someone in the lab led me in doing some cloning experiments and the techniques used was so much more advanced than what I used to learn in the textbook. That really gave me a feeling of being at the forefront of scientific discovery and it’s awesomely overwhelming. And thanks to the long experiments, I missed my train to Hull by 3 minutes and had an 1.5hr-extra-journey. -.-
So, that’s it for my very first week….^^
First day:
I was welcome by my supervisor’s brief introduction of the lab and his demands on his students. He placed great emphasis on the international level of scientific research and disciplines that he’s running in our lab. That really pressured me as I wonder if I could live up to that. But on the other hand, I was kinda excited when he told me that the lab is importing some latest technologies and I would be the one to master them.
Second day:
We had our regular journal club today. I have got the paper discussed in advance and read through it for a few times, but seriously, it didn’t make much sense to me. However, there had been immense discussion among my group members and I was really amazed by their competency, their ability to analyze and wide scope of knowledge.
Third day:
We had a lab meeting today where one of the postdoc presented her research work. Again, I witnessed how my supervisors and the other lab mates scrutinized critically each and every single piece of experimental results. Till then, I felt so defeated because I was nothing like any of them and I really wondered if I could be as competent as them.
Forth day:
My supervisor told me a “joke” today when I asked him how to apply for permission to work in the lab during weekends and non-working hours (which is a procedural thingy). This was his response: “Oh, just ignore that, you need only to apply for writing permission for not coming into lab during non-working hours.”
Fifth day:
Someone in the lab led me in doing some cloning experiments and the techniques used was so much more advanced than what I used to learn in the textbook. That really gave me a feeling of being at the forefront of scientific discovery and it’s awesomely overwhelming. And thanks to the long experiments, I missed my train to Hull by 3 minutes and had an 1.5hr-extra-journey. -.-
So, that’s it for my very first week….^^
Sunday, 5 October 2008
Pricey Pricey Holiday....
I never expected my second visa application to get rejected, but, indeed, unmistakably, it happened!!! Who would have been so unlucky to get rejected TWICE???!!!!
Anyway, it didn’t turn out to be too much a disaster for me. In fact, I was chuckling to myself when the news struck. (My supervisor would have killed me if he know this!!! ^^”) My denial of visa may too appear a good news for some people around. Dad and mum are glad to have me around for some more time as it’s not easy for having two children going abroad at once. And also my little student, who was hopping deliriously with joy when I was informed the rejection on phone.
To be honest, I wonder if this is a plan of the One above:
To allow me to spend more time with family;
To allow me the chance to meet with those who I have not met for years;
To allow me to assist those who need guidance;
To allow me the opportunity to strengthen the relationship with those who I care for.
I am really so so so glad for the extra time that I was granted. I am really grateful for that!! Anyway, the happiness and joy that I am enjoying now is a bit too pricey. So, I sincerely wish my third visa application will be approved!!!
I must get back to UK anyhow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, it didn’t turn out to be too much a disaster for me. In fact, I was chuckling to myself when the news struck. (My supervisor would have killed me if he know this!!! ^^”) My denial of visa may too appear a good news for some people around. Dad and mum are glad to have me around for some more time as it’s not easy for having two children going abroad at once. And also my little student, who was hopping deliriously with joy when I was informed the rejection on phone.
To be honest, I wonder if this is a plan of the One above:
To allow me to spend more time with family;
To allow me the chance to meet with those who I have not met for years;
To allow me to assist those who need guidance;
To allow me the opportunity to strengthen the relationship with those who I care for.
I am really so so so glad for the extra time that I was granted. I am really grateful for that!! Anyway, the happiness and joy that I am enjoying now is a bit too pricey. So, I sincerely wish my third visa application will be approved!!!
I must get back to UK anyhow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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